Summertime activities

If there is one thing I can count on when the weather gets hot, it's that people will email asking if I am running through the sprinklers with John Ashcroft.

Of course I am. And I've also been skinny dipping in the pool with Zell Miller.

At night we've been playing our favorite boardgame "Racial Profiling" on the candlelit patio.

We play in two teams, liberals and conservatives. Each time a property on the board is hit by terrorism and the responsible party identified the conservatives can conduct surveillance on like people, temporarily restrict a freedom, start a new war or do nothing.

The liberal team can sing a folk song, randomly search gray haired grannies at the airport, give in to the terrorist's demands or do nothing.

It's kind of a boring game in that the conservatives always win, but most of the fun comes in mocking the liberals.

Karl Rove likes to play on the liberal team, after a few Ketel One martinis he always says, "Pretend I'm Ted Kennedy on a liquid diet." It's at that point we hide our car keys and instruct my little brown maid to make him a shirley temple.

One of Don Rumsfeld's favorite lines is, "Oh look I'm Hillary Clinton and I'm going to sing a folk song to calm the London cells!"

To which Condi always replies, "I'm some douchebag from the BBC, they aren't terrorists they are bombers!"

When everyone passes out, we like to remove my life sized Dick Cheney doll from its undisclosed location, pose him in compromising positions with the real (but sleeping) Dick Cheney and take digital photos. They're classified obviously, otherwise I'd post them here.

Tonight we are having a VRWC Republican Babes wrestling match. The ring will be filled with Halliburton stock certificates. Winner takes all and gets a romantic weekend at Camp David with John Roberts.

So if I'm not posting as much as you'd like, too bad. I'm working.